New Year Resolutions for 2012

I’m a fan of new year resolutions.

Here’s why:

People rarely slow down to honestly assess their lives these days: where they’re at career-wise, the things they value, what they spend their time and money on. Now, some people still don’t get it. But I like the fact that, built in to our culture, is a kind of system for self evaluation.

I thought briefly about resolutions this year, and even briefly considered resolving to make no resolutions at all. I finally decided against it. Why? Because people are all messed up and are always in need of improvement; and, when looking in the right places, a very particular type of improvement in your own life is always readily available. What I mean is, by God’s grace, we can end this new year with a greater understanding of who we are, the world we live in, and what Christmas really means. (What? Yeah. Life is about Christmas. It’s pretty sweet that every year ends on a high note, reminding us about the things that really matter.)

So here are my resolutions for this new year:

1. To consider it one of my highest joys to serve my wife, my children, and my family with humility, generosity, and grace.

2. To take my wife out on a date every month. (Perhaps a modest goal, but one I’m sure she’ll like.)

3. To give my wife a kids-free crafting day once a month.

4. To improve my physical, emotional, and mental fitness by exercising my body regularly.

5. To pray for my wife and children daily.

For those of you wondering, I say “new year resolutions” and not “new year’s…” because they are my resolutions – not the year’s. I want to take ownership of them….

Let’s also take a look back at my resolutions from 1/1/2011 and see how I sized up:

1. Read a minimum of four excellent books.

I only read two of the books on my short list for the year, though I did read a few others, too. The two I did read were The Reason for God and Forty Days of Musa Dagh. I’ll get to the other two this year, I’m sure.

2. Pray for my family every day.

Totally didn’t happen. Utter failure. But it’s a good thing that God already knew that.

3. Climb 5.11a.

Also didn’t happen – I don’t think. But have been climbing a lot more recently. In the last two weeks, I climbed my first 5.10d and V3. My guess is that 5.11a isn’t out of my reach, I just haven’t had any opportunities to give a climb of that rating a shot. I attempted a 5.11b yesterday, at the end of my climbing session, and couldn’t hack it. I got stuck about half-way up. If you have zero idea what I’m talking about, here’s a quick intro to how climbs are rated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grade_(climbing)

You might be wondering about a few things here – why 2012’s resolutions don’t include anything about climbing or reading. Re: climbing, I still want to climb – and climb harder – but I want to make sure my interest in climbing doesn’t overshadow my service to my family. Re: reading, I still will read – and I hope to read more this year than last – but again, I’m not interested in focusing on it. I’ll just do it. Hopefully.

I Don’t HAVE to, I GET to

I love my family.

Sometimes they’re difficult. Sometimes they prevent me from doing the things I love to do. But this is all just a part of life, isn’t it? Anything can cause us difficulty or keep us from having fun, etc…

I think I’m learning that when you truly love, you’re choosing to be in pain – as you love. Here’s why:

Love is sacrificial – self-giving, other-oriented, not selfish at all. What does selfishness look like? Putting your desires above the desires of those you love, and when you don’t get what you want, you make a big stink about it. (Keep in mind, love isn’t one-way – it happens in relationship, so both people have to be giving of themselves, and sometimes it works out that someone is sacrificially loving you – you’re the receiver.)

Next, when you hang your heart on the line – when you love – you’re bound to be let down by the people you love. People suck. People hurt the people they love the most. Why? They don’t really do it on purpose. It’s a product of the fact that we spend the majority of our time with the people we love the most. People are prone to act contrary to the way they were originally designed to act (in perfect love).

Now here’s how this post relates to my title:

A selfish man would say, “I have to stay home with my children during the day, so my wife can work a steady job.” A loving man would say, “I get to stay home with my kids…” I’ll be honest. I’m definitely feeling somewhere in between today. Of course, it’s because I’m not perfect and I struggle with selfishness – probably more than the next man! But you can’t say I’m not trying to work on or figure out how to fully, truly say “I get to…”

Also, my kids are cute. Seth in the leaves and Eleanor with wide eyes.