Searching for a New Apartment – Again

There’s something that I have learned very recently (about 11 months ago): Looking for a new place to live is a blessing.

It reminds us of the impermanence of life. 

It reminds me that, in the most real sense possible, I don’t really have a home here (not yet, at least). No place will ever give me rest – true rest – rest for my soul.

Transience is life.

Today I spent over an hour driving the streets of Saint Charles, looking for apartments for rent. The booty: three places. That’s it. I drove every street in the area where we want to move to, I called all three places, and left three voice messages.

Today I find myself in an interesting situation: Time is short to find a new place. Prospects in our desired location are slim. So now what? Ah! The answer is so simple…

Don’t worry. 

I’ll let you know how I do, continuing to relish existence in the void of not knowing where I’ll be living in six weeks. Update coming soon…

Resurrection Power

I’m not getting spiritual on anybody here. I believe that I will be resurrected one day. What!?! You may say. Well, here’s the deal: if we’re here for 70 or so years and we’re gone, and that’s totally it, then all of life is a sham. Seventy years is nothing compared with not living – not even existing – for an infinite number of days in the future.

Wow. That feels messed up to think about. Yeah, think about it for a minute. Have you ever done that? I do it too often probably. I think about what it would be like to not exist. To not be.

I have to believe in resurrection because it’s the only way for me to not be depressed about eminent death. It knocks at the door for us all and there seems to be no way to stop it. I recently tweeted out a couple things regarding life and death – actually, more about how to live… (You have to read the bottom one first.)

So I asked myself the same questions. Here’s what I’ve decided:

1. Yep, I’d do a few things differently.

Here’s what I *would* do:

  • Buy that really sweet acoustic guitar I’ve always wanted but never thought I could afford.
  • Buy a vintage tube amp and jam on it. Cranked.
  • Write music. A lot. Then I’d record it.
  • Go on a trip to somewhere cool with my family.
  • Buy an iPhone.
  • Listen to music constantly.
  • Make my wife take off a couple weeks of work.
  • Finally get that Last Will and Testament written up 🙂
  • Take lots of pictures.
  • Eat a lots of pizza.
  • Go for a run or hike or something.
  • Say goodbye. Probably have a party.
  • Be really scared.
  • Read the Bible.
  • Share with people about what I think living is all about.
  • Blog about what it’s like to know exactly when you’re going to die.

And here’s what I *wouldn’t* do:

  • Waste my time watching movies or TV shows (you know deep down it’s just a waste of time)
  • Put off saying sorry.
  • Get upset at my boy for stupid stuff.
  • Worry about backing up hard drives.
  • Record other peoples’ music (sorry currently scheduled friends)
  • Teach guitar lessons (sorry students! you know I love ya!)
  • Try to meet the grim reaper early.
  • Check my Facebook wall.
  • Exercise rigorously.

And so, I hope to be resurrected one day. Why? Because I don’t want to die. And I have to hope – because the alternative is terrifying.

Here you have it. The resurrected blog. About stuff that I think matters. Because talking about anything else is just like vegging out in front of the box. Get out. Do something. Be intentional. Stop reading my blog.
More posts coming soon, as I see fit.
You can follow me on Twitter, too: @jaymathesmusic